Mission Ready Relationships

So I recently finished watching Descendants of the Sun (a Korean drama) and man.... my heart. In past posts, I have shared about how anime has influenced my life and furthermore, how I have come to encounter God through this medium. But I found out that I can also experience God through Korean dramas (I mean they are about love, and God is love... so duh, Alphonse). So here goes!

Prepare yourself, after this picture
there will only be headshots of two good-looking people...

Being a young man, my vocation is one of the thoughts that is consistently at the fore front of my mind: Am I gonna get married? When will I get married? Should I go to a Come and See? How will I serve God for the rest of my life? How am I being called to spend my life? These are very big questions indeed. Personally, I desire to be married (and I'm thoroughly convinced I will be married). So much to the point (and those who know me personally can verify), that I "fight" with God about this: "marriage is the only vocation for me". Putting my close-mindedness aside, I've been able to learn a lot about what I desire out of a marriage and what I desire for my future wife ('cause it's gonna happen) and our future family.

So in this series the two main leads are a Korean Soldier, Captain Yoo Shi Jin and a Doctor, Dr. Kang Mo Yeon. And like with any other Korean Drama, they are the cutest couple ever. They have their cute banter, sassy remarks, date nights, over the top drama, near death experiences ('cause you know, that's a staple for any couple... please no, not me) (they're also getting married in real life!! =O <3).

One of the things that really stood out at me is how they feel about each other's missions. Back in episode 1, Shi Jin states his mission: "My principle is that I must protect beautiful women, seniors, and children."

But on a serious note, he tells her his mission: "My fellow soldiers and I do what we do because it's something someone should do and this is how we protect my family, your family, and everyone they love. We do this to protect the freedom and peace of the people in this country." (Episode 2). To which Mo Yeon responds, "I'm a doctor. I believe in the dignity of life and there's no value or ideology that surpasses that." In addition to falling in love with each other, Shi Jin and Mo Yeon show that these missions are an integral part of their relationship and why they fell for each other.

But it wasn't always like that; love is not always so easy and straightforward (especially in a K drama). They went through doubts. I mean, heck, in episode 2 Mo Yeon says, "this isn't what I expected." For Shi Jin there were times where he wondered about Mo Yeon's resolve to stick to her oath, like in episode 3 after she tells him that she doesn't operate anymore and she is more concerned about her career. After she misdiagnoses a child and Shi Jin corrects her, he says, "You believed in the dignity of life and no value that surpasses that. What I meant is that you seemed like a different person from the one I knew." (Episode 3).

Mo Yeon's doubts about Shi Jin were much more explicit. We see it start from the first two episodes. She gets stood up twice and when they can finally have their first date together she can't even get answers about where he went, who he is, or what he does. Later on in the conversation she talks about how his job is to "protect lives while killing" (Episode 2) (talk about a stark contrast from her job to save lives). Throughout the show she asks the same questions but because he can't disclose his work to her, he ends up lying to her on many accounts. She is trying to piece together who this man in front of her is. 

Things take an interesting turn in episodes 11 and 12 when (SPOILER ALERT) she is abducted by David Argus. While she is abducted, he whispers into her ear: "Big Boss. He's smart, funny, and mysterious. But he has a lot of secrets. He'll disappear from time to time and be hard to contact. And then one day, he'll never come back". And even though (spoilers!) everything ends up well, her doubts and fears and anxieties about him spill over when they finally get a chance to talk: "I have a feeling that you lie to me quite often."

Get ready, here it comes!

"How many more lies have you told me so far because you didn't want to worry me? ... Now I understand. The lies that you've told me, they aren't the kind of lies I can tell you to come clean with and threaten to break up with you if you don't. Behind your lies someone's life is at stake, and politics and diplomacy are involved, and countries react. You made jokes to hide the things that you couldn't tell me. To hide the things that you can't tell me you'll keep making silly jokes and I won't be able to trust you. And eventually, there'll be nothing to talk about between us... I trust you, but I can't tell those things to someone who stops bullets with his own body... Im not sure if you're a man I can handle." (Episode 12)

(breath, breath Alphonse, breath)

Mo Yeon came face to face with all her doubts, worries, and fears of being with Shi Jin all because she was having trouble figuring out if Shi Jin, with his mission, was a good fit for her and vice-versa.

Lol sorry I made that quite anticlimactic

Well, later on in the episode everything ends up fine, they make up, and she decides to accept him and his mission despite being left out of the loop. It is in getting to know each other, to trust each other, that they overcome their doubts about each other. The show does a great job of showing how much effort and time it can take to get to know someone and learn about what they really stand for. Shi Jin and Mo Yeon really struggle and fight for their relationship. They learn to love each other and to embrace the mission the other holds so dear.

Their decisions to accept and embrace each other for who they are and what their missions are isn't just a bunch of flowery promises and nice words. It actually meant supporting each other. An example of Shi Jin supporting Mo Yeon was when he told her to treat David Argus after he had shot him. After getting shot, David started his psychological attack on Mo Yeon by reminding her that she is a doctor and as a doctor she should treat his wound. She felt conflicted, her mission calls her to save people, but should she save a man who is a child trafficker and could potentially harm them. Shi Jin seeing her in distress steps in and supports her. He tells her to uphold her mission, to treat David and keep her integrity in tact. At the same time, he assures her that he will see to everyone's safety.

While there weren't any moments where you see Mo Yeon telling Shi Jin to go "shoot this guy to protect others" or anything like that, we know that she deeply cared for his mission. In episode 15 Mo Yeon asks questions to the military officers about Shi Jin's death (oops... I kinda just said it without warning, sorry if I spoiled it!).  "Did his death save other lives? Did his death keep peace in a certain area? Did his death benefit his country?"

This was such a heart-breaking scene

Despite feeling deeply hurt, lost, sad, confused, and everything else, she decided she wanted to know if Shi Jin could live out his mission. His mission was important to her and she supported him in that.

Not only did they support each other in their missions, they fulfilled their missions in a complementary way to each other's. Their missions were not the same but they found ways to bring them together and to work together. One example is in episode 4 when Mo Yeon and the medical team perform surgery on the Uruk president. "As of now, protecting the medical team and the patient is our priority." He protects while she saves. Another example is the response to the earthquake. Shi Jin and the soldiers worked to clear out dangerous routes so that Mo Yeon and the medical team could get to injured workers and treat them.

While they are a really cute couple (in the drama and in real life!), the way they support and complement each other's mission makes their relationship beautiful. Isn't this one of the staples of a Christian marriage? Spouses are called to help each other get to heaven. To spend our lives here on earth well so that we may spend eternity with God. But how do you do that? You have to, day in and day out, help your spouse become the best version of himself or herself. You do that by learning about who they are and what they stand for. Learn about their mission statement and help them achieve that.

To my single friends desiring to pursue the vocation of marriage, maybe you're tired of being single (I feel you on that one), but don't waste this precious time that is given to you. Discover and carve out your mission. Develop a relationship with God so that you can learn how best to serve Him with your life. Spend time preparing yourself so that your spouse can readily support you in your mission and you can support your spouse in their's. I don't know about you, but I want to be with someone who sees their career as more than a passion but as a way of loving, as a way of serving; someone who sees their career as a God-given vocation. Use this time and become this kind of attractive. Holiness is definitely attractive.

To my friends in a relationship (lol this is shorter 'cause I'm not in this stage of life), get to know each other. Learn each other's mission statements. Learn how you can support and guide each other. Encourage each other. Pick each other up. This is an exciting time, but it is an important time where you must learn to love; where you learn that loving your significant other means getting them to heaven, no matter the cost.

To my married friends (I'm definitely not here yet though, so bear with me), you've already learned that loving them means getting them to heaven, this is the time where you act on that. Build a family that has a mission dedicated to the Lord. Be united in serving each other and the Lord. Not only do you need to get you and your spouse to heaven, you need to get your family to heaven!

We were made to love; we were made for love; we were made from love. Secular society understands that love is beautiful, but sometimes forgets what it takes to love. It's not always easy, actually, it's really hard. You have to learn to trust each other and more than that you have to learn to support each other. In fact, this is impossible on our own, so stay rooted in God always!

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

-Joshua 24:15

... And with that may God be praised!