For Whom Is The Mass For?

So I'm currently on a trip to the Philippines and truthfully it has been quite tough from the humidity, to being homesick, to adjusting to anything and everything; things haven't gone the smoothest. But today, I probably had the biggest highlight of this trip so far, and it was something that I have done countless times everywhere I've gone. I went to mass.

#24MoreDays
I really enjoyed this series back in the day

Now, you might be asking, "Alphonse, you're in the Philippines and your biggest highlight is going to mass? What about the ocean, what about the food, what about the people? You go to mass every Sunday, and sometimes more than that." See for the past 2 Sundays we've gone to mass but they were celebrated in Bisaya (a Filipino dialect), and me being me, I don't understand Bisaya... at all... Of course, because I've been to many masses I could still keep up with all the parts of the mass and I could still participate by responding in English. And ultimately, God is still the same God here as He is in Canada; He doesn't change because my physical location changes. But today's mass was different.

Let's back up a bit to today's Gospel. It is the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with the five barley loaves and two fish. When I did my Lectio Divina this morning two things stood out to me. First, God told me to be attentive to the signs (this is one of the main themes of John's Gospel) of His love for me. Second, "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost" (John 6:12). I'll dive a bit more into these two things later in this post.

Here's a picture. It says a thousand words.

So in my last post I said that I would talk a bit more about prayer, and I guess that's what I'm going to do in this post except I'll focus it a bit more on the mass specifically. I guess the question I wanted to ponder was "why should we pray?" Does God need to hear my praise, or my wanting, or my gratitude. God is perfect. He knows my thoughts even before I think them (see Psalm 139). So why pray? Well, I want to suggest that the answer to that question is the same answer to why we should uphold the third commandment: "Remember the sabbath day" (Exodus 20:8) (or if you want to ask the same question differently, why do we have to go to mass on Sunday). Well, you don't have to go to mass on Sunday, you do have free will, but before you decide to start skipping Sunday mass consider this (and please don't go around saying Alphonse told me to skip Sunday mass because I didn't, don't skip Sunday mass). We already said God is perfect. He doesn't need our praise, intentions, or thanks. So why did He make it a commandment (not a suggestion!) that we remember the sabbath (ie. go to mass on Sunday)? If God is loving and He did not do it for Himself then that can only mean one thing: He did it for us.

Wait, hold up. You're telling me that going to church for an hour (also factor in getting ready time); listening to some boring homilies (actually they aren't all that boring at all); listening to plain music (I think it's quite beautiful actually); and switching between standing, sitting, and kneeling (exercise is good for you) (also one of my sayings is "as the body, so the soul" but we can talk about that another time) is good for me? It's for my benefit to lose one day of my week (ok exaggeration... but not so much in some rites I think)? Yes, going to mass every Sunday is for your benefit. Why? Because the mass is where we encounter God, and encountering God transforms us. God gave us the mass and commands us to celebrate it because He knows we need Him.

Today's mass was special for me because it was celebrated in English (mostly). I didn't think that a mass being celebrated in English could have such an impact on me, but it did, and for that I will probably never forget this mass (Thanks Vatican 2!).

who knew that a church/chapel in the mall would be where
I'd experience such a life-changing thing, eh?

1. Sign of God's Love for Me

The transformation that occurs in our hearts when we regularly go to mass and seek Him out in prayer is that we desire God, we learn to yearn and long for him, we experience a turning back to Him. That was made apparent to me when I realized my hunger for God today. Going just two Sunday masses in a language I could not understand created a spiritual hunger. While I had been present at mass upholding my obligation to be there and participating as I could, in my humanness I failed to feel truly immersed in the celebration. That changed at this mass. By the Gloria, by the line "Glory to God," I was in tears. I was crying because it felt like my heart had longed for so long to proclaim along with all God's people "Glory to God!" All those masses that I had attended reoriented my heart to where it should be facing. It made me long to praise and glorify God. Being "unable" to do so (because of my human weakness I felt I was unable), created a thirsting for my heart to give praise where it is due. God does not need my praise, glory, attention, or love; but I sure as heck need to give it to Him.

2. "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost"

Because of the absence of words that I could understand in the masses of the past two weeks, I grew to appreciate the words that I could understand in today's mass. Actually, more than just appreciate, I grew to treasure what I could understand. In today's Gospel, the creating of more bread and fish out of nothing is miraculous. It is a sign of the presence of God's grace. That is why I think Jesus says, "Gather up the fragments left over, that nothing may be lost." We ought to treat grace as so precious so not to lose a single shred of it. The words I could understand became a sign of God's grace and mercy for me. Every single word became like a crumb that fell from God's table towards me, and in gratitude, my heart treasured these words and held them closely so not to let any of these drop to the ground. Grace is a mercy that we don't deserve, so we should treat it so preciously.

These are two ways that I have experienced spiritual transformation by attending Sunday mass, but it took God bringing me to the other side of the world and having a hard time being here for me to realize it. To be aware of it is also a grace and mercy from God. If you have not been attending Sunday mass regularly, it's not too late. Come home. If you have been attending Sunday mass regularly, I encourage you to reflect on how God has transformed you.

Glory to God!

...And with that my God be praised!

P.S. Pray for me please! While I have experienced a huge mountaintop experience, I don't expect my time here to plateau and stay as a mountaintop. I will be lifting you up in any and all of my sufferings.

The Catholic Hero

HAPPY EASTER! 

HE IS RISEN, ALLELUIA!

One of the things that I (and many other anime fans) have been looking forward to fervently is the return of the hit anime, "Boku No Hero Academia" (My Hero Academia). Well, guys, the show comes back... wait... it's already back.... GUYS. BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA IS BACK...

IT'S BACK!!!

Ok putting that aside for now (breath Alphonse breath), a while ago, I really wanted to make a blog post about this show because I saw that super heroes are really popular. Hollywood is spitting out Marvel films like crazy and Boku No was taking over as the next premier Shounen, after Naruto, Bleach, One Piece (well this one is still going strong I guess). Then a thought came to mind: what does it mean to be a hero?

Queue the greatest hero in history and the great celebration that commemorates what He did for us: Jesus Christ and Easter. How fitting that My Hero Academia, a show about super heroes, returns during Easter, a time of celebration over the greatest hero ever.

Easter is the crown jewel of our Lenten journeys. The Lenten season builds up to and climaxes in the Easter Tridium. Then the Easter octave begins, 8 days of Easter. EIGHT. DAYS. That is how big the Easter celebration is! But it doesn't end after that. Then we enter into the Easter Season. This was a time that the disciples rejoiced and stayed close to the Resurrected Lord Jesus. They saw Him in all His glory, ate with him, broke bread with him. How wonderful, how joyful! But what happens after?

The crown jewel, the summit, the climax of the Easter Season is Pentecost. This is a time when the disciples were filled with the Power of the Holy Spirit; they literally became super heroes. THAT is what happened to us at our Confirmations. We became super heroes... ok maybe more accurately, we gained the ability to become heroic, but many of us did not realize that. At our Confirmations, Jesus says to us:

"You can become a hero." So I ask you again, what does it mean to be a hero?

In episode 2 before All Might tells Izuku he can become a hero, All Might says all heroes have one thing in common: "their bodies moved before they had a chance to think". I thought that to be interesting because most heroes are recognized by their impulsive reaction to evil: fight the evil, save the citizens. But if we are called to become heroic, what action do we take before we have the chance to think?

There are a whole bunch of things that we could think of that would be worthy of a Catholic hero, but let me bring up just one: prayer. Prayer is one of the most heroic actions we can do. Prayer? I mean sure, but isn't that just me talking to myself sometimes, or just some wishful thinking? What can prayer really accomplish?

The Power of Prayer

Let me start with this. The greatest super hero ever prayed. That's right, even Jesus prayed! (Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35, Mark 6:46, Luke 9:18, Hebrews 5:7, etc.). 

Now you might be wondering, what kind of things did Jesus pray for? Well, He prayed for all sorts of things!

-In Matthew 19:13-15, Jesus lays hands and prays for children

-In Luke 22: 31-34, Jesus prays for Peter's faith to be strengthened

-In Mark 14:36, Jesus says a very powerful prayer: "Abba, Father, all things are possible to thee; remove this cup from me, yet not what I will but what thou wilt"

But Alphonse, that's Jesus praying. I mean He's Jesus, and well, I'm not. What good will MY praying do?

"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'move hence to yonder place,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." -Matthew 17:20-21

Prayer will strengthen your faith, and your faith will make nothing impossible to you. That is the power of prayer.

Now before, I get flack like, "Oh Alphonse, but I can't fly," or "I can't be in multiple places at one" (St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Padre Pio), nothing being made impossible does not mean that God will allow all things to be done at our disposal, at our will, and for our own desires. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." -Ecclesiastes 3:1 (this is a verse often for funerals but it's applicable here). God will accomplish what He wants, when He wants. The question is will you be ready?

I encourage you, in the midst of your joy, celebration, and jubilee, to pray. Enter deeply into prayer and see what the Father has for you.

Welcome back Deku-san

...And with that may God be praised!

P.S. I will probably be making a part 2 about prayer, stay tuned!

Zuko, A Redemption Story

Buckle up, this one's a long one. Years ago, I wrote about Frodo Baggins (from LOTR) and how he is actually a great character. Frodo doesn't get a lot of love compared to other characters from LOTR, such as Samwise or Aragorn. What makes Frodo great though, is how his shortcomings make him so human; that in his imperfection and inability to do what is right, we see a bit of ourselves. In the end, he doesn't even have ability (or you may say, grace) to make the right decision (to destroy the ring). Because of this, Frodo falls to the side when compared to characters who excel in their morality and execution. 

Zuko is a lot like Frodo. In Zuko's character we see someone who was once evil, struggled to make the right decisions, and becomes good. However, unlike Frodo, Zuko is a beloved character (perhaps because in the end, he makes all things right). Zuko's redemption story can be likened to the spiritual journey that we are called to make.

Zuko, Crown Prince to the Fire Nation

There's A Spot For You!

When looking at Zuko's character, it is important to consider another character who is closely related to him: Iroh. If we are like Zuko, Iroh, who is like Zuko's "adopted father", is like our Heavenly Father. Now let me say, my grade 12 English teacher used to always tell us that you can find Christ-like and father-like figures in most stories, but that does not mean that they will resemble them 100%, otherwise, you might as well retell the story of God and mankind exactly as it is written in the bible. Please don't take this comparison too literal; Iron is not a one to one representation of God the Father. 

But there is a lot that points to Iroh being like our Heavenly Father. Aside from the abundance of calm, wisdom, and love that Iroh exudes, we can note he had a son, an only begotten son. His son, Lu Ten, dies in the war, and Iroh is extremely grieved by this. But through his son's death, an opportunity for Zuko to become his "adopted son" appears. Similarly, it is through Christ's death that we have a chance at adoption as sons and daughters of God the Father (CCC 1). 

If Iroh is like God the Father, then who is the father of lies, the deceiver, the evil one (this isn't too hard to guess)? It is Zuko's biological father, Fire Lord Ozai. Wait... if you're saying Zuko is son of the evil Fire Lord, what does that make us? Yes, it is what you think. Through original sin, when we are born, we are slaves to sin. That is why through Christ's death (and the sacrament of Baptism) we can become adopted. Because of original sin we didn't belong to God the Father.  

Worst father ever...

But even after Baptism (and many confessions), concupiscence, the inclination to sin (CCC 405), exists. We are drawn to evil, and are called to resist it. Zuko undergoes this trial many times. Zuko feels that he must earn back his worldly honour and respect, but most of all, he feels he must earn back his father's (the Fire Lord's) love. Isn't that essentially what sin is like? We feel a desire, a longing for something that is good but pursue it in the wrong places, or the wrong ways (like hunting the avatar). The devil feeds us lies about how we ought to be and encourages us to chase the things of the world. But in all this mess that Zuko experiences he misses one important thing, his uncle's love. 

The love that Iroh shows Zuko is like the love that God shows us. We are completely unworthy of it, yet it is still there. In fact, there is absolutely nothing Zuko could do to stop his uncle from loving him, and likewise, there is nothing we could do to stop God from loving us. We are loved not because we have earned it but because it is out of love and for His love that God made us (CCC 358).

Eventually, Zuko has his turning point and realizes that his father's "love" is useless, it's fake, it wasn't ever true love. He begins to repent, and after confronting his father about his lies, he rushes to seek his uncle's forgiveness, only to find that he is gone...

Zuko's epic lightning moment

Forgiveness Is Not Enough

Zuko now sets off on a new adventure. a real pursuit of redemption and salvation, to seek out forgiveness and reparation for his sins. Once we realize our own sinfulness and turn back to God, forgiveness is not a problem. We will be forgiven if that is what we seek (go to confession!). But you see, Zuko doesn't realize this at first, and it takes a conversation with Toph for him to realize: he didn't need to earn his uncle's forgiveness. We are given forgiveness freely because we are loved (so go to confession!). Everything else that we do after the forgiveness part is distinct to forgiveness, that is the penance and reparation: showing God we are serious about our turning back to Him. 

Toph's affection hurts

This section is entitled "Forgiveness Is Not Enough", not because I think forgiveness is unnecessary. No far from it, forgiveness of sins is a necessary step in our spiritual journey, but forgiveness alone is not enough for salvation. What was the ultimate goal of Jesus' death on the cross? It was not forgiveness of sins alone, it was the reparation of a broken relationship. You see, forgiveness is only the beginning of a relationship with God. 

So back to penance and reparation. For this I want to share with you a Gospel reading, Mark 4:1-20 The Parable of the Sower (or also, Matthew 13:1-23 or Luke 8:1-15). In this parable, seeds fall along a path and get eaten by birds, others on rocky ground and wither away due to a lack of rooting, others among thorns that choke the plant, and finally, others in good soil where it grows plentifully. I want to focus on the seeds that get dropped among the rocks. 

"the ones sown upon rocky ground, who when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy; and they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately they fall away" Mark 4:16-17.

How long does it take to produce good soil? If our souls have been sullied with sin and we become like the rocky ground, how long does it take to make our souls a place of good soil? Well it's not an exact time, and it is different for everyone, and can only be accomplished through the grace of God, but it takes a really long time, it's a process. We do not become holy over night. Penance and reparation are the next steps after forgiveness to becoming like good soil, to becoming holy. 

Zuko undergoes this process. In the last book/season, there are a string of episodes where Zuko takes a couple of "field trips" with members of Team Avatar. It is through this that he demonstrates to others and to himself, that he is serious about change.

Out With The Old And In With The New!

Sometimes it is hard to see if we are making progress in our journey of holiness and that is why I think visual aids are nice, like tv shows, like anime, like, more specifically in this case, Zuko. You see penance and reparation are hard and arduous journeys to undertake, but how do I know that I am headed in the right direction? It's not just about choosing what is hard. Plenty of things are hard in this world, not all of which are good. For this, let's look at one of Iroh's lines after Zuko sets Appa free in Ba Sing Se:

"Your critical decision- what you did beneath that lake. It was in such conflict with your image of yourself that you are now at war within your own mind and body"

or in more biblical terms:

"Put off your old nature which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" Ephesians 4: 22-24.

We will know we are headed in the right direction when we come into direct conflict with our old selves. When we seek to change we wage war against the old way of life. To navigate this change, and make sure it is a good change, we must grow in two attitudes: humility and obedience (personally, these are two that I want to grow in, so please pray for me!). Humility to know that you cannot turn back to God with only your own strength (and so we need grace), and obedience to listen to God to do whatever it takes. 

Zuko may be a fictional character, but take heart that the path forward is made known to you through this fictional character. I believe that if we look hard enough, fictional secular works reveal to us, man's longing after God. So as we set out to turn back to God, keep focused on the goal: to be a son or daughter of God, to be in relationship with God, to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind" Luke 10:27

...And with that, may God be praised!

Do You Know Jesus Christ?

They are all full-fledged Genin!

Boruto: Next Generations! Let me start by saying that while this show is not perfect, I am really starting to enjoy it. I do have some minor gripes with the show such as, how overpowered everyone is pre-Genin, or how light and bubbly the narrative has been thus far. But the series is just beginning and I am sure that those minor problems I have with it will clear up along the way. Also, how could you not like the show with all the homage it has paid to its predecessor: Sarada wants to be the next Hokage, the new team 7, and my favourite of all, the Sarada-Boruto kiss (be ready for them to be shipped hard!).

But all that aside, the past few episodes (the preparations for the final exam, the exam itself, and the graduation) have been my favourite so far. Up to this point Boruto has been living in its own bubble of niceness and the good guy always wins without any real troubles, but leave it to Kakashi-san to give Boruto a wake up call.

In my own life, graduation has also been on my mind because I intend to graduate this school year (June 2018). And one line from Kakashi really stood out to me (watch the video!).

I believe that upon graduating from a post-secondary school many students (or I guess ex-students) don't have or struggle to come up with a clear direction for their lives. One of my favourite questions to receive from people is, "what is the plan after school?" The reason I like this question so much is because it forces me to reaffirm my plans moving forward. It is almost as if in telling others, I am psychologically being held accountable to my plans. So if you are studying/graduating soon, I urge you to think about "what is the plan after school?"

In addition to graduating school this year, I will be "graduating" from CFC-Youth. So adios amigos! From here on, I will be moving into SFC completely and I am so excited for it!

Slowly with each graduation in our lives we start to take our lives more and more into our own hands; the way we live our lives is more about our choices than living underneath someone else's. So it is important that we start thinking about what we will do with what is for most students, the last "technical" graduation of their lives. 

For myself, I intend to work towards becoming a full time teacher in a high school. This means cleaning up resumes, writing cover letters, creating portfolios, and applying to boards. At first, I'll be supply teaching, so I'll probably keep my part-time job at Kumon. Over time I hope to move up the supply list, get onto the long term occasional list, and then get a full time position. This is a brief overview of my plan moving forward. There aren't too many details listed out here because I don't want to bore you with my life (well actually, lol I don't have too many more details beyond this haha). But if you're a graduating student, please start thinking about what comes next!

But I think this idea of thinking about what comes next is a thought process we must apply to more than just milestones in our lives: graduating school, moving on from youth ministry, etc. I think we need to approach life with this mind set: "what comes after life?" For Catholics the answer is simple, eternal life (or maybe for most of us, purgatory then eternal life) (note, the answer is simple, but the execution is terribly hard). But do we take the time daily to consider what this answer means; how it affects our daily lives; what are the implications and consequences of having such a dream to aspire towards. I think in this regard, most of us fall way short of the mark. 

The dream of being Hokage is alive and well

To say that after life, we will have eternal life means that God has welcomed us, with arms spread wide, into heaven, and that in response to that welcome, we have come to fully embrace him. If this is the goal, then I want to encourage you all to consider one of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite speakers (lol I've actually only listened to one of his talks):

"Do you know Jesus Christ? That's the most important thing you'll ever answer because to know Jesus Christ is to have everlasting life. There's nothing more important than to know Jesus Christ" 
-Father Larry Richards

So I ask you now, do you know Jesus Christ? And if you do know Him, what does that mean? Does it mean that in knowing Him, you have come to love Him? If you love Jesus, can you prove it by the people whom you love? "And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God should love his brother also." (1 John 4: 21)

Essentially what it comes down to is, what we do here on earth is important; "it decides our eternity" (Father Larry Richards). "So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead" (James 2:17). Our faith and knowing and loving who Jesus is moves us; it compels us to action. 

A new year is beginning and as has become tradition for many, it is a time to make new resolutions: to become more healthy, to pray more, to study harder, etc. This time as, the year winds down and new one begins, I urge you to re-examine your faith life and consider how you will act on your faith this year. Let your relationship with Jesus Christ shine through to all those you meet:

"By this they will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." -John 13:35

...And with that, may God be praised!

P.S. Bonus comic strip 'cause it was pretty funny

"A Father's Hope, A Mother's Love"

This post is about... Naruto Shippuden episode 297. I remember when I first watched this, not only did I get the feels, but I got eyes full of tear- I mean water... you know, cuz my eyes got dry and stuff.

This was me all episode long

But aside from getting really emotional, I was also affirmed of something: we live in a world that is starved of God, that in fact, there are signs in every corner of world of a longing for God.

This episode of Naruto displayed for many to see, a message that is Catholic in its very nature: a glimpse of what Marian love is like.

Ever have issues receiving the word of God in your life? You feel like God the Father has something to say to you and you can't seem to hear or get the message? Or perhaps, you want Him to say something about your life and He seems silent? In a way, it feels like He's detached from us, that He doesn't care for whatever may be going on in our lives. This is not true, far from it: "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11. But despite reading, knowing, and even experiencing this truth, we fall wayward and question God's plan for our lives. 

If this is our experience with our Heavenly Father, then how often must we experience an even worse brokenness with our human parents? We know that they desire good for us, but yet in their humanity, fall far short of this great God-given desire. Gaara, the main character of this particular episode, experiences, in full, the brokenness of human relationships.

So for those of you that don't follow the series and insist on still reading this post, I will give a brief summary in hopes that this sufficiently prepares you for the rest of the post (and well, I guess those that do follow the series, you can read it also) . Gaara grew up as the youngest of three siblings, but despite that, grew up in complete loneliness. He was a human experiment. His village and the village leader, the Kazekage, his father, tried to seal a powerful beast inside of him in hopes that their village could retain this great power for themselves. Everyone up until then that had this great beast sealed within them would go mad and rampant on the village, killing many. Gaara was no different. As a child he would lose control of himself and kill villagers. Seeing that their experiment with Gaara had failed, Gaara's father tried to kill him several times in order to keep the village safe (if you think you got issues with your Heavenly Father, well...). He failed each time (well, duh Alphonse, Gaara lived up until this point). Unable to kill Gaara, he was kept as a secret weapon; a human weapon for the village. He lived in solitude and isolation. Everyone around him was scared of him. No one cared for him.

Side tangent, I just lied to you, there was one that did care for him: his uncle, Yashamaru. But in a tragic "test" of Gaara's ability to control himself and the powers sealed within him, Gaara ended up killing Yashamaru. Talk about a tragic life, no one loves you except one person, and you end up killing that one person.

But Gaara didn't hang his head low (well actually, for a time he did, I guess). TLDR; Naruto becomes his first authentic friend and from there Gaara straightens out his life. He grows up to become a great shinobi. In fact, he becomes the fifth Kazekage, that is, the recognized leader of his village.

But through all of this, there is one person we have yet to mention: Karura, Gaara's mother. Where was she during all his pain and loneliness? Well, she died right after child birth. Gaara loved her very much. He treasured her, at least up until that aforementioned "test" involving Yashamura. Gaara was lied to, and told that his mother did not love him. This left Gaara devastated and closed his heart completely. 

But despite her absence, she has a vital part to play in Gaara's story. In fact (this is slowly becoming one of my more used lines), it is through her that we can come to learn and experience a glimpses of what Marian love is like.


1. Mama Mary is our protector.

Gaara's main power is to manipulate sand. He can harden and soften it. Use it for offence and for defence. This power is mainly known for its defensive prowess: "absolute defence". One may think that this is a power that Gaara received from having the powerful beast sealed within him (that's a logical assumption since the power is OP and the beast is OP). But, in fact, this is a power that Gaara receives from his mother.

Throughout the fight with his father (TLDR; Gaara's father was reanimated/"resurrected"), it is revealed that through this power, his mother is always protecting him.

If you needed more proof, the sand even takes on the shape and form of his mother throughout this fight. This kind of reliable and strong protection that Karura gives to Gaara is what we can expect from our Mother Mary.

We know that through the command of our Lord Jesus, Mary is our mother: "Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home" John 19:27. As such, we know that she loves us dearly, and as any mother would do, she will protect us. We also know that as Mother of God, she is filled with grace: “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!” Luke 1:28. And through this grace, she has power: "I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel” Genesis 3:15. As such, demons and devils fear her and under her mantle of protection we need not fear anything.

2. Through Mary we are brought closer to God


There's a flashback in this episode where Yashamura and Gaara speak about wounds and healing. Yashamura explains to Gaara that physical wounds are easy to notice. Blood or bruising appears, but given time, these wounds heal on their own. They heal even faster if you apply medicine to them. Then Yashamura explains to Gaara, wounds of the heart are much more troublesome. Given time, they may never heal. In fact, there is only one cure for them, love (*snap* *snap*).

How do I get me some love?

Despite lying to him, Gaara's father reveals to Gaara in this episode that his mother loved him. Then Gaara has a flashback about Yashamura telling him how his mother loved him. Gaara begins to realize that this power he received from her is a symbol of her love. That this protection is her embrace of love. Gaara's father then begins to pour out his heart to Gaara. In a spirit of repentance, he admits that he was the one who took away everything from him: life, friends, family, community. He also gives great insight, that through Karura's great love for Gaara, he has been given an opportunity at all these things. Her belief in Gaara and protection of him, propelled him to where he is.

From this episode comes one of my favourite lines in the whole series,"Thanks to her, for the first time, I received medicine [love] from my father."

And isn't it true?! That through our mother we are able to receive our medicine of the heart from our Father. Now, Gaara's father is completely short of our Heavenly Father, but it is no lie that we at one point lived in such division from our Father. It took a mother's yes to bring us closer to God. Because of Jesus through Mary, the gates of heaven were opened up to humanity! And so, we can receive medicine to heal the deepest wound of our hearts: separation from God.

I believe we live in a starving society. One that hungers and thirsts for the love of God. If we just look around us, we see the signs littered all over; a world that deeply desires the love of God. I also believe that the world intrinsically knows of this longing, that this is the reason we see it spill out and over into our literature. In all kinds of literature we can see the love of God because literature is a expression of the heart, and what greater thing can the heart express than love for God?

"In my distress I called upon the Lord;  to my God I cried for help." Psalm 18:6

... And with that, may God be praised!

Mission Ready Relationships

So I recently finished watching Descendants of the Sun (a Korean drama) and man.... my heart. In past posts, I have shared about how anime has influenced my life and furthermore, how I have come to encounter God through this medium. But I found out that I can also experience God through Korean dramas (I mean they are about love, and God is love... so duh, Alphonse). So here goes!

Prepare yourself, after this picture
there will only be headshots of two good-looking people...

Being a young man, my vocation is one of the thoughts that is consistently at the fore front of my mind: Am I gonna get married? When will I get married? Should I go to a Come and See? How will I serve God for the rest of my life? How am I being called to spend my life? These are very big questions indeed. Personally, I desire to be married (and I'm thoroughly convinced I will be married). So much to the point (and those who know me personally can verify), that I "fight" with God about this: "marriage is the only vocation for me". Putting my close-mindedness aside, I've been able to learn a lot about what I desire out of a marriage and what I desire for my future wife ('cause it's gonna happen) and our future family.

So in this series the two main leads are a Korean Soldier, Captain Yoo Shi Jin and a Doctor, Dr. Kang Mo Yeon. And like with any other Korean Drama, they are the cutest couple ever. They have their cute banter, sassy remarks, date nights, over the top drama, near death experiences ('cause you know, that's a staple for any couple... please no, not me) (they're also getting married in real life!! =O <3).

One of the things that really stood out at me is how they feel about each other's missions. Back in episode 1, Shi Jin states his mission: "My principle is that I must protect beautiful women, seniors, and children."

But on a serious note, he tells her his mission: "My fellow soldiers and I do what we do because it's something someone should do and this is how we protect my family, your family, and everyone they love. We do this to protect the freedom and peace of the people in this country." (Episode 2). To which Mo Yeon responds, "I'm a doctor. I believe in the dignity of life and there's no value or ideology that surpasses that." In addition to falling in love with each other, Shi Jin and Mo Yeon show that these missions are an integral part of their relationship and why they fell for each other.

But it wasn't always like that; love is not always so easy and straightforward (especially in a K drama). They went through doubts. I mean, heck, in episode 2 Mo Yeon says, "this isn't what I expected." For Shi Jin there were times where he wondered about Mo Yeon's resolve to stick to her oath, like in episode 3 after she tells him that she doesn't operate anymore and she is more concerned about her career. After she misdiagnoses a child and Shi Jin corrects her, he says, "You believed in the dignity of life and no value that surpasses that. What I meant is that you seemed like a different person from the one I knew." (Episode 3).

Mo Yeon's doubts about Shi Jin were much more explicit. We see it start from the first two episodes. She gets stood up twice and when they can finally have their first date together she can't even get answers about where he went, who he is, or what he does. Later on in the conversation she talks about how his job is to "protect lives while killing" (Episode 2) (talk about a stark contrast from her job to save lives). Throughout the show she asks the same questions but because he can't disclose his work to her, he ends up lying to her on many accounts. She is trying to piece together who this man in front of her is. 

Things take an interesting turn in episodes 11 and 12 when (SPOILER ALERT) she is abducted by David Argus. While she is abducted, he whispers into her ear: "Big Boss. He's smart, funny, and mysterious. But he has a lot of secrets. He'll disappear from time to time and be hard to contact. And then one day, he'll never come back". And even though (spoilers!) everything ends up well, her doubts and fears and anxieties about him spill over when they finally get a chance to talk: "I have a feeling that you lie to me quite often."

Get ready, here it comes!

"How many more lies have you told me so far because you didn't want to worry me? ... Now I understand. The lies that you've told me, they aren't the kind of lies I can tell you to come clean with and threaten to break up with you if you don't. Behind your lies someone's life is at stake, and politics and diplomacy are involved, and countries react. You made jokes to hide the things that you couldn't tell me. To hide the things that you can't tell me you'll keep making silly jokes and I won't be able to trust you. And eventually, there'll be nothing to talk about between us... I trust you, but I can't tell those things to someone who stops bullets with his own body... Im not sure if you're a man I can handle." (Episode 12)

(breath, breath Alphonse, breath)

Mo Yeon came face to face with all her doubts, worries, and fears of being with Shi Jin all because she was having trouble figuring out if Shi Jin, with his mission, was a good fit for her and vice-versa.

Lol sorry I made that quite anticlimactic

Well, later on in the episode everything ends up fine, they make up, and she decides to accept him and his mission despite being left out of the loop. It is in getting to know each other, to trust each other, that they overcome their doubts about each other. The show does a great job of showing how much effort and time it can take to get to know someone and learn about what they really stand for. Shi Jin and Mo Yeon really struggle and fight for their relationship. They learn to love each other and to embrace the mission the other holds so dear.

Their decisions to accept and embrace each other for who they are and what their missions are isn't just a bunch of flowery promises and nice words. It actually meant supporting each other. An example of Shi Jin supporting Mo Yeon was when he told her to treat David Argus after he had shot him. After getting shot, David started his psychological attack on Mo Yeon by reminding her that she is a doctor and as a doctor she should treat his wound. She felt conflicted, her mission calls her to save people, but should she save a man who is a child trafficker and could potentially harm them. Shi Jin seeing her in distress steps in and supports her. He tells her to uphold her mission, to treat David and keep her integrity in tact. At the same time, he assures her that he will see to everyone's safety.

While there weren't any moments where you see Mo Yeon telling Shi Jin to go "shoot this guy to protect others" or anything like that, we know that she deeply cared for his mission. In episode 15 Mo Yeon asks questions to the military officers about Shi Jin's death (oops... I kinda just said it without warning, sorry if I spoiled it!).  "Did his death save other lives? Did his death keep peace in a certain area? Did his death benefit his country?"

This was such a heart-breaking scene

Despite feeling deeply hurt, lost, sad, confused, and everything else, she decided she wanted to know if Shi Jin could live out his mission. His mission was important to her and she supported him in that.

Not only did they support each other in their missions, they fulfilled their missions in a complementary way to each other's. Their missions were not the same but they found ways to bring them together and to work together. One example is in episode 4 when Mo Yeon and the medical team perform surgery on the Uruk president. "As of now, protecting the medical team and the patient is our priority." He protects while she saves. Another example is the response to the earthquake. Shi Jin and the soldiers worked to clear out dangerous routes so that Mo Yeon and the medical team could get to injured workers and treat them.

While they are a really cute couple (in the drama and in real life!), the way they support and complement each other's mission makes their relationship beautiful. Isn't this one of the staples of a Christian marriage? Spouses are called to help each other get to heaven. To spend our lives here on earth well so that we may spend eternity with God. But how do you do that? You have to, day in and day out, help your spouse become the best version of himself or herself. You do that by learning about who they are and what they stand for. Learn about their mission statement and help them achieve that.

To my single friends desiring to pursue the vocation of marriage, maybe you're tired of being single (I feel you on that one), but don't waste this precious time that is given to you. Discover and carve out your mission. Develop a relationship with God so that you can learn how best to serve Him with your life. Spend time preparing yourself so that your spouse can readily support you in your mission and you can support your spouse in their's. I don't know about you, but I want to be with someone who sees their career as more than a passion but as a way of loving, as a way of serving; someone who sees their career as a God-given vocation. Use this time and become this kind of attractive. Holiness is definitely attractive.

To my friends in a relationship (lol this is shorter 'cause I'm not in this stage of life), get to know each other. Learn each other's mission statements. Learn how you can support and guide each other. Encourage each other. Pick each other up. This is an exciting time, but it is an important time where you must learn to love; where you learn that loving your significant other means getting them to heaven, no matter the cost.

To my married friends (I'm definitely not here yet though, so bear with me), you've already learned that loving them means getting them to heaven, this is the time where you act on that. Build a family that has a mission dedicated to the Lord. Be united in serving each other and the Lord. Not only do you need to get you and your spouse to heaven, you need to get your family to heaven!

We were made to love; we were made for love; we were made from love. Secular society understands that love is beautiful, but sometimes forgets what it takes to love. It's not always easy, actually, it's really hard. You have to learn to trust each other and more than that you have to learn to support each other. In fact, this is impossible on our own, so stay rooted in God always!

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

-Joshua 24:15

... And with that may God be praised!

Envy, The Big Green Monster

So it has actually been a while since I finished Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and I wanted to do one final post. If you recall, in my last post I said briefly that I would like to talk about the homunculus and their names. I won't talk about all of them, but rather I will focus on one.

The thing that makes the homunculus so interesting is that you know that these characters are the bad guys and yet by the time that they start dying you can't help but feel something for them. Why is that? Is there is some sort of goodness in sin (if you didn't know, the homunculus are named after the seven deadly sins). No, far from it. Sin is that which separates us from God, who is the source of all goodness; it is bad! The reason that the deaths of these homunculus seem so tragic is because sin itself is tragic. It is often said that sin is the distortion of love; that it actually stems from a place of good will and just misses the mark. We desire that which is good but in our brokenness are not able to pursue goodness the way we ought to. It is important to understand this because in understanding this we are able to see how sin can be undone in our lives.

The homunculus I want to examine in this post is Envy. Oh Envy, how you were so annoying throughout the show (you killed Hughes 😡), yet by the end I could not help but feel pity for you. I think Ed's reaction to envy in the end is exactly how I felt about him as a character, but we'll get to that after.

Let's start with, what is envy? Envy is (as a noun) a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck; or (as a verb) the desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to someone else (Thanks Google!). Why would we want something that belongs to someone else? Because it is a good thing and we are meant to have good things. We are often jealous of the good things other people have because we desire good things for ourselves. But envy does not desire out of utility or even sentimental value, it simply wants out of spite (see, the desire for good that becomes distorted). It says straight to the face of God, I deserve all good things and You should be giving them to me. It is in trying to accumulate, that the envious one tries to fill the hole in their heart. This is dangerous because this attitude makes us think that we can, and should, make God serve us all good things on a silver platter.

Now wait, doesn't this sound like another sin: Greed? It does and it doesn't. Greed also seeks to collect but comes out of a different place of the heart. Greed acknowledges the longing of the heart to love God but it confuses the love of God for the love of things. Greed mixes up the creator for the created. Greed, in fact, is more a problem of prioritizing which or who should be loved first and most. Now does this mean that the two can never overlap? No, of course they can; sin begets sin. This is to say, however, there are differences, even subtle ones, between envy and greed.

Now, back to envy. We spoke about what envy is, but what kind of devastating effects does it bring with it? Envy teaches us to focus on others in a negative way. Also, envy blinds us to our own faults. Why? Let's take a look at the character Envy. He is actually responsible for two very big deaths in the show (here's your spoiler warning, but seriously, just watch the show if you haven't yet).

The first person that Envy kills (in historical order) is the Ishvalan child, and that leads to the extermination of the Ishvalans and eventually, the rise in notoriety of Scar. As a result of being robbed of all that he has, Scar sets out on a quest of revenge against all Armestrians, especially state alchemists.

The second person that Envy kills is Maes Hughes (queue the water works). What did this result in? Well from Envy's point of view, Colonel Mustang also became hell bent on revenge, to the point he "murdered" Lieutenant Maria Ross. Later on we also see the accumulation of hatred in Mustang's heart.

(It is important to note that I am now comparing the effect Envy the character has on other characters to the effect envy as a sin has on us personally. In saying that, it does not mean that I am looking at characters like Scar and Mustang as characters suffering from the sin of envy but from the character Envy.)

Envy teaches us to focus on others in a negative way...

Now what do these two murders (that Envy committed) have in common? They resulted in the the brokenness of others. And actually, as we said before, as sin begets sin, their brokenness leads them to lose who they are and stray away from the right path.

For Scar, he became obsessed with avenging his own people. He accused a whole race of people because of the deceptions of the homunculi. It did not matter to him that Edward is a young state alchemist who did not participate in the war (because he was young and not yet a state alchemist). Scar still wanted to kill him.

Mustang also became obsessed with revenge. One of Mustang's goals throughout the series is to find Hughes' killer (we see this as he asks Lust upon meeting her for the first time who is Hughes' killer).

Mustang vs. Lust

But we really see the effects of such hurt manifested in his encounter with envy. Mustang begins losing himself to rage and hatred to the point that his friends actually have to intervene and prevent him from taking out their enemy. And even at this point, he threatens to raise arms against them demanding that they step aside and let him get his revenge. His friends recognized at that time that Mustang was going down a dark path where he would have no hopes of healing the deep pain he felt over losing his close friend.

Whoa he looks so dark

But why did Envy do these things? We learn at envy's time of death, he only desired to have the good things that humans had: relationships, love, peace, family. It is in wanting these things Envy became ok with trying to forcibly take them away from others. Envy is the sower of conflict.

The irony, he who demeaned humans was jealous of humans

Envy blinds us to our own faults...

When we fail to see our own faults, we either do one of two things: we elevate ourselves to a higher status or we degrade others to a lower status. Envy runs a much deeper psychological path. If we actually look at the character Envy and think about it, we might (and should) be deeply concerned. At every turn, he tries to turn others against each other. For example, when Envy was captured just before dying, he attempts to escape by reminding everyone of their distaste for each other (which he caused in the first place) so as to sow the seeds of conflict amongst them.

Envy laughs at the pains and hurts of others. He rejoices in the difficulties of others. He condemns and belittles others for struggling. And as sin begets sin, we see these psychological symptoms appear in Scar and Mustang as well. The envious one loses all care and love for his neighbour.

Overcoming envy...

So how do we defeat envy? Let's take a look at the great transformation of Scar! When we first meet Scar, he is a cold and heartless killer. But there are instances where we begin to see how the virtue of understanding undoes the knots in his heart. The very first example of humanness that Scar shows, is towards Nina (I'm so sorry for bringing this up). He says that he killed her out of mercy. Scar recognized that another was in pain and desired to respond (no matter how incorrect that was, especially from a Catholic perspective. This is like a whole other post on euthanasia and "mercy-killing", so not here guys). Later on in the series, he encounters Winry and finds out she is the daughter of the doctors who saved his life (and whom he killed). Because he understands the pain he inflicted upon her, he relinquishes to her the right to kill him (again, a bit off, but we're getting somewhere). 

But we really start to see Scar open up as more people come to understand him (the other way around now). When he starts having companions who know his story and still choose to journey with him (Yoki, May Chang, and Marcoh). One key person that he encounters who probably understands him the best is Miles. Miles is also an Ishvalan, but instead of choosing the path Scar chose, he tells him that he chose a different path: to change the country from within as opposed to subjecting it to the same pain that was inflicted upon him. This really sticks with Scar and we begin to see his transformation and freedom from Envy's grasp over him.

For Mustang we see his slow descent into the depths of hatred. Beginning with Mustang's "murder" of Maria Ross, then the provocations in his fight with Lust, these times make it seem like Mustang's fire of hatred is tepid at best. But when we come to his final fight with Envy we see that he has been festering this tepid flame into a monstrous fire of hatred. In that fight with Envy, it was Riza, Ed, and Scar that brought him back from going dark the path of hatred; they did not let him kill Envy even though he had journeyed so far just to exact revenge on Hughes' killer.

Ouuu, Riza, tell it like it is!

They stopped him by showing him they understood he was hurting, but by pointing out that this path would not bringing healing for his hurt. They reminded him of his dreams and aspirations, and how this would negatively affect those. They showed him they were there to understand him and to support him.

Well then, since Mustang didn't kill Envy, you must be wondering "how does Envy die in the show"? (spoilers!) He commits suicide. Why? Because in his last moments he feels so ashamed that someone else could understand the hole in his heart.

It is understanding and empathy that undoes the knots of the heart and defeats envy. When someone reaches out to know us and journey with us, envy fades away because the hole in the heart is filled with love.

Envy is dangerous. Often it turns us against each other and causes us to break what Jesus instructs us as the second most important commandment: "And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbour as yourself" (Matthew 22: 39). So when we encounter envy in ourselves, bring it to light, let God and your brothers and sisters be your source of healing: "Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming; but who can stand before jealousy? Better is open rebuke than hidden love" Proverbs 27:4. And when we are met by envy in our brothers and sisters, do not be quick to judge or dismiss, but rather, seek to understand: "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. A tranquil mind gives life to the flesh, but passion makes the bones rot" Proverbs 14:29-30.

...And with that, may God be praised!